“You must be so pleased/relieved/happy!” said friends and family following the news that I was still in remission after my two-year check-up. Relieved, yes. Happy, not in a way you might expect. Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely grateful that I don’t have cancer anymore. But I’m not going to jump in the air or high five a stranger because of it. And a few of my clients have experienced the same anti-climax following positive news regarding their cancer. One said, “If I crossed the road and got to the other side without being hit by a bus, I wouldn’t celebrate that either.” A graphic thought, but true.
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Reading this makes me realise that we think the feelings after cancer are complicated and cant be understood by people but are actually so relatable once you put those feelings in words. Thank you so much for this wonderful thought provoking blog.
Thank you for directing us to this post. I’m coming up to my 2 year check in 10 days time, so it really resonates with how I’m feeling at the moment. In the email you mention that a lot still stands and a lot has changed. If / when you have time (!) maybe you could write an update, so we can see a trajectory from 2 to 5 years?
This is beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Thank you for putting your story and your feelings into words, it’s really helpful. X