Reframe your menopause, reclaim your control; the motivational energy behind making good choices after cancer.
- 6 days ago
- 4 min read
Tips from Transformational Life Coach, Holly Adcock
I hear a similar story from many patients. They felt informed and supported during their ‘active’ cancer treatment, but the menopausal fallout has left them feeling completely overwhelmed by a myriad of symptoms and distinctly lacking in the support necessary to navigate these new waters.
Menopause After Cancer: Why It Can Feel So Overwhelming
The very real side effects of an induced menopause, which is often more abrupt than a natural menopause, include aches and pains, problems with sleep, brain fog, hot flashes, mood changes, the feeling of disconnect or a muted sense of self to name a few! I too experienced these changes after treatment for breast cancer in 2021.
When symptoms trouble us, rather than offering ourselves compassion, we are often very hard on ourselves and have a tendency for negative self-talk. In times of vulnerability it’s hard to distinguish which symptoms are menopause related, treatment related or something we should speak to our oncologist about.
These changes, however, are not forever and we do have options. By getting in touch with the impact our symptoms are having on us and mastering the art of making good choices, we can develop valuable strategies to find a balance that works and take back control. We can even choose to view this new stage of life as an opportunity to rediscover and reinvent.
Coaching, as a forward-focused and solutions-based discipline, can help us to move us from our current reality to a desired future state. Through effective questioning within a safe space we can unpack what’s going on, challenge limiting beliefs and access inner resources so we can start making small positive changes.
Here are some of the actionable steps we discussed in the recent Q&A to help us make better choices. The goal here isn’t perfection; it’s good enough. Small steps to help us get back on track when we feel overwhelmed. Having a sense of structure as well as the ability to access a positive mindset has a direct impact on our emotional wellbeing and ultimately leads to better health.
1. Prioritise Self-Care During Menopause
As per Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, we need our fundamental needs taken care of and a basic level of self-care before we address our sense of purpose and direction and look to achieve our full potential.
These include food, water, shelter, security as well as psychological needs like love and friendship. So take stock of your situation and what you have the capacity for and look after yourself.
2. Notice Emotional and Behavioural Patterns
We have a tendency to revert to old coping patterns in times of stress. This might feel protective and might have been effective in childhood but old patterns can be quite destructive in our current context.
Awareness and self-reflection in the first step so get curious and ask yourself, am I reverting to a known coping pattern such as rage or withdrawal. You ultimately want to invite yourself to step out of the old pattern and make way for something more useful.
3. Reframe Limiting Beliefs Around Menopause
Adopt a growth mindset by challenging limiting beliefs. Ask yourself what else could be going on here / how would you speak to a friend in this situation?
Reviewing the evidence; catch and review the negative thought.
What meaning are you giving to this experience?
Where might you be overestimating threat and underestimating your ability to cope?
It can also be helpful to draw on our strengths and previous successes; where have you overcome adversity in the past?
4. Understand Your Values and Motivations
Values are our drivers and help us to live an authentic life. They act as an internal compass that guide better decision making – aligning our actions with what truly matters to us.
Ask yourself what you naturally surround yourself with and gravitate to? How do you spend your time and money? Who inspires you?
This leads to connection, gratitude and joy. It lowers the stress hormones and improves immune functioning.
5. Set Small, Achievable Goals (SMART Goals)
What is one thing I can do today to bring me closer to my goal?
In Coaching, SMART Goals help to transform a vague idea into something more specific and actionable and therefore more likely to have success.
So make a goal specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound.
Defined by the questions what, how, why, by when?
The consider one thing you can do today to bring you closer to that goal.
6. Make Healthy Habits Enjoyable
As per James Clear’s ‘Four Laws of Behavioural Change’; make it obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying.
Consider habit stacking – link your new intentions to existing routines and bring in an element of reward. For example after the school drop off (existing routine) I go to the gym (new habit) and have my coffee in blissful solitude (reward).
7. Anticipate Barriers and Plan Ahead
Do your homework and allow your brain to anticipate potential stumbling blocks in your plan. Then when inevitable barriers come up, we don’t freeze but go to problem solving mode and this prevents us from being derailed.
8. Celebrate Progress and Small Wins
Marking milestones and reflecting on achievements allows for a dopamine release which in turn boosts motivation and increases confidence.
Angela Duckworth talks about noticing ‘small wins’ to provide hope and confidence – evidence that your efforts are paying off.
This foot in the door moment can really spur us on!
Menopause after cancer can feel disorientating, but with the right support, it does not have to define this stage of life. Through compassionate coaching, self-awareness, and small intentional changes, it is possible to regain balance, rebuild confidence, and move forward with clarity.
If you are struggling to make sense of menopause after cancer treatment, personalised coaching support can help you feel more in control again. For further support please do get in touch. I help women to make sense of what they are experiencing and feel more in control again.
Holly Adcock is an ICF-accredited Menopause Lifestyle Professional and Transformational Life Coach. She supports women navigating menopause after cancer, helping them manage symptoms, improve emotional wellbeing, and reconnect with their sense of self.
Comments